Keeping teens safe online is essential. However, internet safety rules can feel like accusations to teenagers. For many teens, especially those who have behavioral issues —rules represent distrust, overprotective behavior, punishment, and judgment.
If your teen is in high school, it can unrealistic to completely monitor every single thing that they do online, as teens use the internet for everything from schoolwork to socializing with peers. But learning how to talk to them frankly about the real risks of their online behavior is more important than ever since they do spend so much time online.
The good news is that parents and guardians can make Internet safety positive by reframing how rules are viewed, implemented, and enforced. Are you struggling to make Internet safety rules for the teen in your household? Take a look at tips for safe screen time without arguments.
1. Talk About the Risks in Frank, Real Terms
Don’t sweep the scary things on the Internet under the rug. Cyberbullying, inappropriate content and illegal activity are all pitfalls of the Internet that have severe real-world consequences.
Cyberbullying, sexting, and other online issues can damage your teen’s mental health. According to a 2018 study, teens and adolescents who are victims of cyberbullying are twice as likely to attempt self-harm and suicide. If your teen has a history of perpetuating bullying behaviors, you may also be concerned that they could be the one directing negativity toward other minors online.
You play a critical role in teaching your teen about the risks of cyberbullying and other issues. It’s important to have conversations about proper conversational boundaries online. In addition, setting boundaries about the types of content that are acceptable to access is also essential.
2. Make Rules That Allow Your Child to Engage in Healthy Socialization on the Internet
The truth is that you can’t avoid the fact that a big part of teen socialization today revolves around forming relationships on the Internet. Cutting teens off from socializing on the Internet can make them feel like you are attempting to isolate them from their peers. This is where balancing safety and personal growth becomes essential. Here are some best practices for keeping online chats safe for your teen:
● Make a policy that your teen is only permitted to have online chats with people below the
age of 18.
● Make a policy that your child is only allowed to chat with specific people —perhaps
family members, students from their school, or peers from other activities.
● Prohibit online conversations after a certain time each night.
● Encourage your teen to talk to you if someone online has made them feel
uncomfortable.
Feel free to add any rules that you think are appropriate based on your child’s social circle. In addition, parents should encourage their teens to take the conversation from the Internet to real life as much as possible. Let your child know that you’re happy to host their friends for gatherings on the weekends to allow them to fit in some in-person conversations instead of always tapping away at their screens.
3. Have a “No Screens in Bed” Rule
It’s reasonable to ban technology from the bedroom. This prevents teens from accessing conversations and content at all hours of the night without supervision. In addition to preventing access to potentially harmful online activity, this rule simply reinforces good sleep habits.
Late-night screen time can disrupt sleep patterns. Eliminating distractions can result in better sleep. In fact, the no-screen rule when falling asleep is so important that parents should definitely lead by example on this one.
4. Look for Sudden Changes in Behaviors
Behavioral changes, disruptive habits, or preoccupations with certain topics could be telltale signs that your child is viewing damaging material online. For example, many teens get caught up in online communities that celebrate eating disorders, self-harm, and suicide. If your teen or foster child is exhibiting troubling behavior, it may be time to implement new rules about Internet usage.
First, have a conversation with your teen about the changes you’re seeing. You can then ask about specific influences that could be driving these changes. It’s important to assure your child they won’t be “in trouble” for being influenced by online forces.
If you notice them engaging with online communities that promote eating disorders (pro-ana), then it’s a good idea to first talk with your teen about the community. Your teen may simply be looking for support. Unfortunately, many of these groups promote unhealthy, even harmful behaviors rather than provide support. You might want to reach out to a mental health therapist or counselor for help.
5. Don’t Explode If They Make a Mistake Online
You may find that your child is viewing, sharing, or creating objectionable content online. While you may have a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, it’s important to confront your teen in a calm manner to get all the facts. Let them know that you are more “concerned” than angry. This conversation is an opportunity to discover why they are motivated to engage in these activities.
6. Use Filters and Monitoring If You Feel They Are the Best Ways to Keep Your Teen Safe
The Internet is forever. If you’re in a situation where a teen has demonstrated that they are unable to use the Internet safely on their own, it may be time to apply filters and monitoring software. Communicate that this is being done in the best interest of the teen instead of making it punitive.
The Internet can be a place where teens find connection, inspiration, and self-identity. However, it can also be a place where they make mistakes that have serious consequences. It’s okay to enforce boundaries and rules regarding Internet usage. However, it’s also important for parents and guardians to help teens learn how to use the Internet in healthy, constructive ways that they can continue once there’s no parent in charge to “police” Internet usage.